Praising Teens

[Marilynne]

I just noticed this section of Doc Bradley's website. What a great way for us to boast! I am just like any other mom and complain about my lazy teens. They are just kids. They are like lots of other kids. They sleep alot, they are slobs, they have busy social schedules, they love to instant message. In addition, they really love their grandparents, parents and believe it or not...each other! I am from a big family and always thought I wanted a big family. I am blessed with two wonderful children who are wonderful because I have been lucky! My husband and I have been married for 26 years - through good and bad and have never given up on each other or our kids. We are fortunate to have good jobs and live in a nice community. Our kids have friends with lots of problems, and know they are "different" from many of their friends from broken homes. They belong to a Young Life group, they volunteer, they get decent grades, and after many, many tries - they help around the house. Our son will be 18 in May - I have been grieving the loss of my little boy for several years, and am finally realizing that my little boy, is becoming a responsible young man, who I know we will be very, very proud of when he goes off to college to become his own person. After reading about the many problems parents are dealing with on these forums, I know how lucky I am, and though I complain ALOT about my teens, I am finding that I have no reason to be upset when they need to be told over and over and over to pick up after themselves, help around the house, and be home at a decent hour. We worry - we love them - we know they will be on their own someday, we just don't want it to happen so fast. The years fly - I try very hard to savor every minute of my teenagers' lives. We are truly blessed to have messy, lazy, mouthy kids.

[ARS]

My daughter was 6 or 7. She came back from a friend's house where she was enjoying the company of her friends of more or less the same age.

Entering the house, she immediately shared with me how P. was showing her her bruised ears ... because "her mother pulls them quite often".

»You know, I've told her that her mother, parents and nobody else is allowed to touch her like that and physically punish her. She was staring at me, was suspicious about my words and I don't think she believed a word, you know. But I felt to share that with her.«

Wow! Pride stroke me so hard that left me speechless for a moment, but I surely let her quickly know how proud I was, how brave she was, how well she handled the situation etc., and how almost all she can do in many occasions is to share her knowledge and experiences as often as possible... no matter whatever people say or do afterwards.

Ugh, how I cherish all those moments when a sort of confirmation comes that (despite my not-perfect-parenting, mistakes, as well as my permanent self doubt) there must be quite a lot that I'm doing pretty well and efficient after all.

Thank you, dear, for what & how you were & are!