One more thing...
One more thing then I will shut up Doc. B. I promise. I am thinking about having my Uncle (he is my mentor in life truly, I trust him more than anyone...ever) come with me to that first session. I think it will make it easier for me to not only talk, but be more at ease with the counselor I am going to. What do you think? Do people bring in their family members ever? Sorry, but you know I am new to this whole "shrink process." I just don't want to get in the waiting room, and then have the chance of just walking out before I even go in to get help. Like I said, I am scared to death of going, and I think having my Uncle there would be a great help. He is very willing to go, and has told me many times he will. So what do you think? Should I ask him, or not? Will the shrink think I am crazy...(hahahah...like he isn't going to think that anyway) for bringing him in with me? I hope I can make it through this first time. Thanks for all your help.
ABSOLUTELY bring your uncle to that first session, if that helps you feel more secure. The shrink will understand how hard it is for you to make that first visit after feeling so alone for so many years, and further, how hard it is to trust someone else when you've been hurt so much.
After a few minutes, if you feel safe enough, you might ask your uncle to leave the session so that you can perhaps be more open, but that's up to you. However you get there, just get there.
Please do not feel silly for writing. I think that there are a lot of readers out there cheering you on. Additionally, there are likely many readers who will use your example to find the courage to get help themselves. So please keep us posted.
Dr. Mike Bradley
Ok...Doc, so I have been through three sessions so far. The shrink I am going to is a nice guy....really genuine. I still feel like I am wasting his time...and wish I could get over that....but all in all the sessions are going good. I am thankful I am going....it is nice to be able to lay out all the **** going on inside me on the table...and have some help sorting through it and putting it back where it needs to be. Thanks for the advice...and the help in deciding to finally go. School is ending soon, and my parents (although I have begged and pleaded to stay) are intent on me coming home for the summer. I haven't told them I am going to counseling...I just don't think they need to know. But I think if I told them they would let me stay. I just hate to think I am going to be done going to sessions already....although I am coming back in the fall, and I will be able to start again. I would like to be able to fix myself while I have the chance right now! It is kind of like breaking your leg....and having the doctor put you in a cast for 8 weeks...then going back, knowing you are healed, and having him tell you, you have another 8 weeks in that stupid cast. I just want to be well....you know Doc....I just want to be well... I want to be able to think...and function properly without the constant "pressure" in my head. The "pressure" you really have to experience in order to know what I am talking about. Not a headache....but close....anyway...I want to be better....and I don't want to wait. But as of right now it looks like I may be waiting for a while. Anyway...thanks for helping me. I appreciate it so much.
Please consider talking with your therapist about possibly staying on through the summer, and letting your parents know what you are doing. It would be nice if you could push on in a neutral place like school to help get rid of that pressure in your head. Perhaps the summer would be the perfect time to focus a bit more on yourself, a sort of retreat?
Whatever you decide, I do hope that you feel truly proud of yourself for taking that risk and seeing someone. Please don't forget how hard that was to do, and remember how brave you really are when you stop listening to your "doubter" voice. Like a secret bank account, you can draw on that in the future whenever you feel paralyzed by some challenge facing you.
Please stay in touch periodically to let us know how you are.
Dr. Mike Bradley