How overprotective is this? Is it as crazy as I think?
If someone could please read this it would be great. I am a 16 year old male. I have never done drugs, smoked cigarettes, or drank alcohol. I live with my mom, who is single. I feel that she may have some problems with being overprotective. I have a few examples if you would like them.
-Once, at a basketball game at my school, when the game was done I was leaving and my mom was coming too. I saw a female friend of mine and she said "Hi." As I was leaving I saw my mother and she said to me "Who is that?" Her voice seemed angry somehow. I responded "That's my friend Kristina." She then answered "Was she coming on to you?" She said this with a very angry tone. I said to her "No, obviously, she has a boyfriend." I was a little confused. She then told me "Not to talk to girls like that." and that she didn't like her, because she did that in "an act of defiance." These are her exact words. I was confused and angry after that.
-The other night, I had a semi-formal dance. The entire time before the dance, my mother was on edge. When she saw my date, she said that she was the girl she saw at the basketball game that was "coming on to me." When I said, "No, that wasn't her." She insisted that it was. She said "NEXT TIME I HAVE TO MEET THE PEOPLE YOU GO OUT WITH!" Even though we had just been going as friends.
-On a Saturday night I asked my mom if I could go to the mall with 2 friends. She was instantly pretty annoyed. She responded "It's already almost 7:00, why do you want to go for?" I responded "We're going to go at like 8:00, what's the matter?" I don't remember any more full quotes, but I remember something along the lines of "I DON'T LIKE THIS BUSINESS OF YOU GOING OUT AT NIGHT!" When I told her I would be going from 8-10, and my friend's parents could give me a ride, she said "ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN AT THE MALL!" I live in a suburbian area, and the mall is about 15 minutes away. I own a cellular phone.
I did not exaggerate any of the above stories. I feel that my mom is a little crazy, and very overprotective. Please read the whole thing and respond to my question of how psychotic my mom is.
First of all, you sound like a wonderful young man to be so patient with your mom and not snap out at her for being so protective. I wonder if you do that because you can sense that she does these things because she loves you so much and is so scared of the world around you. I hate to admit this but if I was a single parent I'd probably be more "psychotic" than your mom.
But you are probably correct. She might need to learn to begin to loosen up a tad or she might lose you entirely by being too rigid. My thought is to sit her down and tell her that you've been thinking how incredibly hard it must be to raise a teen these days on your own, and that you'd like to have the two of you chat with a counselor to work out how to make this as happy a time as possible since you are growing up and need to make more decisions for yourself. You might point out that you've never been a teen before, and she's never raised a teen before, and that getting some help might be a terrific idea for both of you to help you stay close through these years.
And again, congratulations on being such a thoughtful and wise young man!
Dr. Mike Bradley
Thank you for the speedy reply sir, and I'll keep you posted on how things work out.